her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
