You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
