I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
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It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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