we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
