Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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