I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
