i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
