Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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