Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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