Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
