hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
