Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
