This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
