I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
