We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
