sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The ass gains better be worth it
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