Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
