so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Damn victory sex feels great
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
