It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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