So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
