If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
