so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Someone signed my nipple.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
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