I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
