drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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