Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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