It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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