tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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