i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
