the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
