shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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