We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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