My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize