Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
