yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
