I must be too annoying 4 u.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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