K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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