She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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