did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
