She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize