You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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