no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
