Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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