Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
