My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
