I just saw a hot homeless man
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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