You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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