i just google imaged poop.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
