I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
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we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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