How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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