then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
This girl is more easily done than said...
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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