Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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