we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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