what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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