Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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