I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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