We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
