she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
third nipple confirmed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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