I hate your face
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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