i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
