Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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