Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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