Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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