I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
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I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
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My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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