Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
