I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Randomize
