lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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