Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
