Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
