ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
God I need to hump something, right now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
