I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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